Don’t date “the wrong men” because I hear it every day from my clients. This is what I hear every day from my clients: “David, I have met the wrong men; they don’t treat me right, they don’t do what I want, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
Many women think that because the bad relationship happened in the past, dating this kind of man is not appropriate or advisable. I don’t blame you. I was taught not to date the “wrong men” as early asulate years, and I still have more non-ory relationships than I want to admit. In fact, the number of men that come into my office and ask me to stay after a heartbreak is far greater than the number of men I meet here in New York City that are interested in a commitment. But I know you’re a smart and successful woman who deserves what she wants. So right now, I want you to take the time to give yourself a thorough assessment regarding your dating history. I want you to ask yourself, “If I were a man, who would I be interested in?” If you’re like most women who’ve been hurt in a relationship, you’re probably thinking, “It’s not him, it’s me.”
Unfortunately for you, you can’t be representative of anyone, but you can be given the tools to steer your own dating life in a direction that will ultimately bring “the right man” into your life. I know this is easier said than done. Your pain has engulfed you. There’s no doubt about it. But you’ve only temporarily escaped your pain. As I like to say, heartbreak doesn’t look the way pain does on the outside. The relief that you allow yourself to feel, actually allows your heart to pumping more effectively, pumping more blood to your brain, making your Him more accessible. Leaving your pain inside while realizing how His presence brightens your life also initiates a more honest relationship with yourself. Sometimes you say, “I feel so much better now that I’m not going through this anymore. I’m going to start meeting men again.” But sharing your heart with another person will not heal your past relationship scars. It’s time for you to begin your healing.
Instead of rejecting men because something about your past relationship reminds you of something less than ideal, begin to open yourself to dating different types of men. Yes, some men will not be right for you, but finding Mr. Right who truly loves you, is challenging. You’re missing out on Mr. Right finding you while you’re caught up in your past. You would like to travel down a road of eligible bachelors on dates with friends and colleagues, clubbing, gym, singles events, dating sites, and out and about. Men you barely know. Men that do exist, that really aren’t you. Dating sites only extend your dating world. They’re not aimed at introducing you to The One. Men whose commitment is uncertain, who have been hurt in past relationships, who you’re not really compatible with, or don’t quite jive with. Men you’ve probably rejected in the past. Men that live too far away, who would make for a lousy long-term match. Yes, you’ll meet more bachelors and eventually find “the one,” but dating sites are merely a way to meet more men in general.
When you expand your boundaries by dating guys who aren’t right for you, you not only protect yourself, you also expand your dating pool, which will provide you with more dating experience and allow you to find The One when he’s still alive. You don’t have to settle for a handsome, broke, older man who has a steady job than you to pay for your coffee on Saturday morning. Make room for The One. You deserve to attract the best available man without compromising who you are. With websites for singles adjust your search criteria to find the most suitable match for you. Last chance soulmates.